Monday, August 26, 2013
It's been very long since my last post. Been busy for studies, and now I am called to the English Bar Council and I am a barrister now. Gosh, only the Lord knows how hard I worked for this to happen. I only hope my parents could be a little supportive towards me.
I am not a whining kid, but I just really need somewhere that I could say out my feelings loud. I can't do it on facebook I don't want random people (or some not-so-random people?) to read it.
Anyway, first I finished my bar school in first attempt (proudly) but what happen next?
I need to get a life
I need to get a life
I need to get a life
Okay, I am really interested in doing Family Law, which I don't know why, but that's where my passion is ok! So I was hoping to do my pupillage in a Family / Civil firm because my second interested area is dispute resolution. However, the most of the firms do not focus on these area, instead they do Commercial and Corporate more, which my no likey.
The above mentioned has nothing to do with what annoys me and bothers me a lot, hmmmmm, maybe a little.
I was looking for job and nothing comes up, so I decided to take a short break (like a month) to rest and think about my future (big) plan. And my parents were not supportive, AT ALL. You know, it's ok if they are just 'worried' about me, but my mom actually hates me I guess. This is all part of her evil plan to get rid of me from the house!!! LOL no kidding!
She was trying her bestes to annoy me, which she successfully done so. EVERYTHING I DID, SHE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY, literally EVERYTHING; from waking up in the morning to sleeping at night, from drinking water to eating dinner. Congratulation to her I am now fully motivated to find a job and move out.
I am just wondering what have I done, made her dislike me so much. I always try to be nice, because I felt quite bad towards my parents. I was not the greatest kid when I was young, rebellious and stubborn. Then when I grew up I studied oversea; I always felt bad that I was not home all the time, had been studying abroad spending all the pennies my dad earned with his blood and sweat; wanted to spend more time with them, especially my parents. But seems like my mom thinks otherwise, and in her mind I am now an evil person wanna to snatch my dad's property and with my sibilings.
My sister is having SPM this year and her trial exams are around the corner. Everytime my parents scolded her I always asked them to not bother her and let her be. Whereas my mom thinks that I wanted my sister to be an useless uneducated person so that I can be the only educated in the family. And she actually said it out in my face. I really sweat on this one, seriously! I asked them let her be because I really hate shouting within the family, I don't like to see her shouting at my sister and I don't like to see them get angry. And in fact I did saw my sister doing revision, which all her shouting was not even truth (same thing she did to me)! I just feel like we should give her a little bit space because she is a grown up she can handle and arrange things herself we don't have to babysit or force her to do anything she don't like it.
My dad is cool, to a certain extend. He is supportive, to a certain extend. I read law in my undergrad, and I really wanted to do something for the society. And I want to practice here in Malaysia because I am born here and this is my tanah air! For me, sometimes it is not all about money, whereas contribution to the society is equally (or more) important. I always say, it's not about the money, it's about the passion. I always passionate in improving the country, and I support human rights. My dad is a conservative man, sometimes (most of the time) we have different opinions on certain social problems i.e. same sex relationships, racisms etc. These are the common problem of why Malaysia is still being fogy because there are still generations could not be open minded about these issues. Well, I don't want to propagate my points here, but I really hope my dad could listen up a bit. We can't weigh everything with money!
So in order to solve this problem with my parents, I read a article. It says when dealing with the elders we have to borne in mind of one crucial principle: nod nod and nod. You just have to agree, and do not say anything hurtful to them.
In chinese we have a saying: filial piety as the first. Parents have done so much for us and we should not really tit for tat if they done anything annoys us. We were all born as dummies and they have taught us everything included how to live our life: eat and shit. And just because we are grown ups now, does not make us have the right to take them for granted, and forget their good deeds. We may have out own opinions now but it does not justify us to be rude to the elders.
Last but not least, Mommy I love you no matter what ok! Please sayang me a little bit more, keep my faith in loving you more and more.
G
Friday, August 17, 2012
New Resolutions!!
9:08 PM
ALOHA!!
In this abyss time of my life, I came out my NEW RESOLUTIONS!!
haha YES! haha thinking of make my life more contented and colorful I decided to have some new resolutions in my life and lets get started!
My first resolution will be: VOLUNTEER AT LEAST 5 TIMES!!
Helping out people has been one of my great ambition since I was young as I always feel that I am better than the others and that is exactly why I am doing law now. My 'superiority' makes me stubborn all the time but now I want to adjust my attitude a bit to be a better person. and I think of that: since myself is so 'great' I should use my 'greatness' to do something good for the society and for other people. I hope this Volunteering thing change a bit of my mindset, that I will not be so stubborn anymore and I will definitely try my best out of it!
My second resolution will be: BUYING A MAC BOOK!
Well this is so stupid @@ buying a MAC book does not seems like a great resolution though but it can be a great resolution for me, and you will understand thing not far away in the future (as in like the paragraph below) LOL
My third resolution is: DangDalangDang!!! MAKE A VIDEO~
HAHA now you see why I need a MAC book because I want to make a VIDEO! people may wondering why I need that to make video, you can use Camera or something! Well I do have a camera and I think that camera is GREAT but I need something to edit it. AND I JUST WANT A MAC BOOK!
My 4th resolution is : FINISH ONE WHOLE SONG!
This is kinda stupid to tell you all that I have actually composed more than 30 songs but it never goes life. I have no platform to show anybody and no software to really compose and edit and record it properly. This is another reason that I WANT A MAC BOOK! hahaha
And my last resolution is: VISIT MORE THAN 10 COUNTRIES!!
It his my dream to go travel and backpack around the world I think it is quite fun to see things around, taking pictures around and you know get some great experiences and memories. I have been to 4 countries and numerous cities so far and I had a lot of fun (and sweat -.-!) so there are like 6 more countries to go. The next would be Belgium and will be to planning Finland, Norway or Sweden in the year end. Next year easter gonna be France, Malta and Hungary! Oh ya although Scotland is in UK but definitely a must to visit and Ireland as well haha and this cost a lot of $$$ and I am gonna start working once the new academic year start!
This first thing I will need to do now is: done with the *censored* company law!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Going to UKland again!
4:01 AM
Once again I am going to leave home, this time I am not sure for how long..
My future is so uncertain now, I am so worried for myself, but no one could understand..
I cannot do anything except study hard for Company Law to retrieve a 2nd Class!
Determination is my everything and I have faith in myself!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Degree completed and I am technically a Law graduate now (not really though).
I did not really scored what I was expecting and decided to have a resit in August.
Most of the People around me seems like satisfied with what they got, and some of them do deserve to that. I understand that there is no point to grieve about something that could not be changed , but I believe that it is not the time for us to be at ease, the real challenge is coming ahead.
Our future should not be taken lightly, what we are facing now it's not just CLP and whatsoever course we should commence but what can we do to improve ourselves, to be a better person, better student, for the benefit of the society.
People have advised me to not taking the resit in August and graduate with a lower grade and I refused. Maybe we are not there yet to see the different between 2.2 and 3rd but I believe that in the future not far away we will see the different. Besides that, if I did not get through I think I should resit LOL
But I know we are all in deep shit, law path will not be as easy as we thought. A friend told me to keep praying, and god shall answer my prayers. I believe so, because I prayed a lot before exam and god calm me down.
Only faith will keep us going and at the end of the day, we shall all success
♥Monday, June 11, 2012
I have been travelling around Italy for more than a week and then flied to Ibiza for 5 days.
I realised that there are people that give you high expectations, blame you for everything that you failed to comply and yet you have to take it even though it is only part of your fault. Because you know if you say out something that they do not wish to hear, argue your point, something bad would happen, and they will think you are finding excuse. HELLO! Explaining myself is not finding excuse!
Most of the time I'd rather keep quiet.
But kept quiet does not mean that I agreed, or I submitted to what other people said. It simply because I have no better way to express myself. And I kept quiet so I did not have to take the blame, did not want to stuck in between of everything and in the end nothing can be done also. I kept quiet because I do not want to hear anymore in the middle of the night there were noises discussing about how bad I was as a travel partner, and how I created troubles. I can take everything because we still need to see each other, no matter how you talked bad about me, I'd shut my mouth instead of arguing because there is no point, you have got your point, and I insist on my point that I think is correct but no one needs to know.
Actually everyone is responsible for the trip, we cannot blame each other for any bad planning because when we decided everything there was no objection, it was mutual responsible for all of us.
However, I managed to enjoy myself during the trip. It was a great travelling experience for me at least :)
Scotland is the next <3 yuhoo!!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Once I feared of love, and once I fell in love
I was so blinded and lost and I could not see myself..
and then I was so hurt and then a slap on my face
telling me that I have to let go
so I thought I could understood why people in love acting weirdly and rashly
but then my objective test came into the picture
and convinced me that a reasonable friend would not behaved that way
they would find another way..
Babe I forgive you because there is not anything that I could do
there is nothing about me at all..
I forgive you because I was once in love
just hope you will find a way that things work out between us
that is what the most I can do
when I see you losing yourself, I hold you
when you could not see yourself, I will do anything to help
but that is not what you are doing
you are choosing a side when you are not asked to
you implied things that were not even true
You are living in a you that is not even you!
how is it like living under other people's shadow?
I hope one day you will really realized how you lost me..
with love,
GChen
Monday, May 14, 2012
现在不是我做的也要我来承担就是了~
做朋友那么久，如果是我拿的我就会讲。
买回给你就是了，
几只笔又不是很贵。
伤心在于你的不信任，还有你的计较。
我对你太失望了...
我看我们就这样算了吧！
Sunday, April 29, 2012
You can think whatever you want but so do people out there putting on their yellow shirts and wanted to do something to raise the awareness of anti-corruption.. It does not matter whether you are politically active or not but as a rakyat Malaysia, it is our liberty, to protect our home from those who has ulterior motive. Why so bothered about bersih if you are not in a guilty conscience, take it as a huge campaign to raise the awareness of anti-corruption.. At least there are people who cares and trying to do something about it with their own way? Better than those who are giving empty talks..
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
我們都在偽裝著堅強，偽裝著快樂，偽裝著幸福。
層層包裹下是一個傷痕累累的自己...
Monday, December 26, 2011
Merry Christmas, hope you both had a lot of fun with your best friend just now. Throughout 2011 the most regret thing that I have done is attended the UKEC dinner, and sorry for being such a bad, mean and sarcastic friend. There is no such thing as neutral, this is what i was told. So you lost me forever, the moment you step toward that faker. Congratulations you gain a fake friend and lost a true one just because I'm straightforward, doesn't mean that i do not care. You let go of me first, and so you not gonna get me back, its not the same anymore. You fucking spent your Christmas time with her, and its totally pointless we came together then. Don't think that you call us to join, its not enough, you know I'm not gonna have fun with her around, so might as well you have fun with her yourself because I just can't tahan her fucked face! I feel like being used, as your navigator and help you book your hotel and everything just for you to spent time wih that fucked face, and I'm disappointed in you, both.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I am so glad that in the end I am still who I am, acting in the way that I like.. But you have been hanging around with people you disliked, and slowly convinced that they are actually nice enough to be forgiven.
It will never be the same, I finally felt that. No matter how much effort I put you will still go with her, because you are not you anymore. You are doing those things that you asked me not to do, and I understand that people tends to see others' mistakes but not their own.
I still love you, the old you. will u be back?
♥
Monday, November 7, 2011
没有100分的另一半，只有50分的两个人。
12:41 PM
〈转贴〉
女人，可不可以收起你们的任性，可不可以不要用分手来证明他对你的感情，两个人在一起难免会遇到太多的磕磕碰碰，
遇到事了可不可以不要用你的情绪来分析这些事情，我们是男人，可不可以宽容一些我们的疏忽，可不可以帮我们分担一些压力，
动不动就说狠话,发脾气,如果没有低下头来和你道歉还要闹分手，是。我们可以认输，可以低头。但是，歉道了，心却凉了。
一直说着我们这些男的点都没有责任心，
但是感情是2个人的，你这样又对这份感情负责吗？
真正的彼此相爱，是为对方不断的改变自我。
女人,可不可以不要去说其实我和分手并不是真的分手, 我只是想被你挽留这样幼稚的话,
这个不是衡量你在他心里到底多重要的标准,其实很多时候明白你们就是故意不讲理,扯些有的没的,你认为这样是情趣么?
这样爱你的那个他就会来宠你,然后得到你所谓的幸福么,那么我告诉你,时间久了只会让我们觉得有些无赖,
而不是你的可爱.你说你只是一个女人,渴望的只是有个温暖的怀抱来安慰你的任性
我只是一个女的,你不宠我谁宠我嘛
是,你是一个女的,那你去承受一个女人该做的啊,
当叫道你们去洗衣煮饭的时候,你们又傻了.
不要问我为什么女的就该做这些事嘛,
这个事情没有谁该做什么事,是你自己觉得值不值得做,
如果我们追求的是幸福也就罢了，难题在我们追求的是“比别人幸福”.
女人,可不可以不要去抱怨生活的乏味,生活是一件很平 常的事，
哪有那么多传奇。如果你看到了我们在为了 以后努力的时候，
可不可以少些抱怨，当我们抱着你 说亲爱的，相信我，
我以后会让你用烦香奈儿，买菜都提LV的时候，可不可以不要那句就你啊,下辈吧,
你是否知道我们最不能忍受的就是自己女人都看不起,
或许那只是你的一句玩笑话,但是你是否知道,你是我们的动力,你是我们在外面为了什么撞的头破血流的时候最期待的归宿
,再苦再累我们都愿意背,因为我们是男人,但是你可否学会知足.
生活没有什么东西值得畏惧，只有需要理解的东西。
女人,可不可以不要把我们的好,当成理所当然,感情,不是一味的索取,重点是你要学会用一个成熟的心去经营,
让我们在累了一天以后回家看到你就会觉得这一切都是值得的.让我们感觉和你在一起是如此的舒心,
你的任性如果控制在一个限度那么或许真的就是可爱,但是你的这种可爱多了,我们也就会累了,没有了以前的轰轰烈烈,
没有了以前的冲动和激情,每个人的忍耐都是有限度的,因为我爱着你,
作为一个男人,忍一忍有什么,但是或许到最后你连他离开都不知道为什么.我们的代号叫男人,不叫奥特曼（ultraman）,
我们的心也只有那么大,我们当初和你许下的诺言,不是我们不能实现,如果你把我们的诺言当成了一个标准,当成了理所当然,成了你越来越无视我们感受的资本,
那么即使我们坚守着最后一份责任爱着你, 我们所得到的爱也不是快乐的,不是发至内心的幸福的,
所以,所以脑中分手成了必然.
我所想象的最幸福的婚姻，就是一个聋男人娶了一个盲女人。
女人,你记住,一个男人流着眼泪无数次的挽回你,不代表他就是一个懦夫,不代表他不是一个男人,
你的所谓的可爱多了,我们也就有些厌倦了,当有一次我们终于对你大吼的时候,
这时候的你或许被震惊了,或许心真的有些碎了,或许想着是不是真的该离开了,
但是我们对你是真的厌倦了吗?然后又是我们低声下气的道歉,如果真的把你吓着了,
或许你就会真的离开,这时候的我们明白其实我们只是有些累了而已,所以不愿意因为这些事放弃了真正爱的人,
所以我们会哭着挽留你,给你认错,但是你记住,我们是你的男人,不是你的狗,任由你的摆布,
如果你让你的他失去了男人最起码的尊严,那么你要我们有什么理由继续下去,
况且这样的男人就算给你,你是否会觉得他没用,你会不会要,你不会要,你会觉得厌烦,
因为你学不会尊重,人与人之间的尊重.
你遇到为你流泪的男人了吗
你永远也看不见我最爱你的时候，因为我只有在看不见你的时候，才最爱你。
同意，你永远看不见我最寂寞的时候，因为我只有在你看不见我的时候，我才最寂寞.
女人,可不可以包容我们的不够浪漫,不够体贴,因为我们面对的是这个复杂的社会,这个恶心的社会,
我们需要去为了生存奔波,或许你的一些小浪漫我们疏忽了,希望你能理解.但是过多的借助外界的东西来证明我们爱你,多了,
也就没用感觉了.又或许你会担心我们会随着社会一起堕落,所以你失去了安全感,所以更加的要求我们对你俯首称臣,百依百顺,
这样或许就能填满你内心的担心, 但是感情是2个人的,请你相信,只要你给了对方足够的感情的回报,
多在乎一些,多陪他说些话,了解他的内心一些,这股力量会有力的牵制住我们的思想,会让我们觉得那样做自己都不像个男人
而这一切不是靠你任性, 靠你所谓的可爱就能换取的,可以放下你的大小姐姿态吗,多去发现他的好,
这样或许看似你输了,但是你赢的是我们的心.
我们只是男人,抓不下天上的星星给你,采不到海底的珍珠给你,我们要生存,要养父母,
以后接了婚还要养你的父母和你,还有孩子.必须去面对这个社会,累.真的很累.
对你话说重了,你会拿分手威胁我们,指出你的不对,你会拿你的任性告诉我们我就是这样,
怎么.你心情好的时候,我必须随着你的心情陪你开心,我们在外面受气的时候在你面前抱怨几句就是不爱你了,
没有要求你要贤良淑惠,温热体贴,但是你可不可以听懂我们说的话,我们不可能跟你们女的一样撒娇,
看不惯我们会骂你,可不可以不要感觉和我们在一起发现生活好空洞,会去向往那自由,可不可以不要抱怨我们是如此的不懂你,
而你遇到的那个他多么的会安慰你,多么的理解你的感受,
但是我要告诉你,陪在你身边的是我们,陪着你手牵手走过大风大浪的是我们,不是那键盘上敲出来的我懂你想要的是什么.
可不可以把自己姿态放低一些,如果我都像你想象的那么完美了,那我会和你在一起?
Sunday, September 18, 2011
leaving Malaysia in less than 24 hours.
A goodbye might make us don't get to see each other for probably a year,
but a goodbye also make us missing each other more and more,
to appreciate the time we had.
and when we see each other we will be more matured.
I'm leaving like how you left that day,
but we are coming back for each other I know =)
Friday, July 1, 2011
to be the me that I always wanted to be..
2:15 AM
i know its been quite a long time i never update my blog
has been busier than ever to catch up with friends
and just started my attachment at JB, the 4th day
i got my salary today
the job is quite tough
like i actually know nothing about the procedures of how to get those things to be done
and im just quite careless, typo and everything
BIG mistake today
dint forward 2 copies of letter to bank and developer and some other law firm
and made my colleague blamed by the lawyer for not checking my work done
i felt so bad, because i actually thought that i was capable to do the job well
ended up everyone so tension to email and fax to apologize =(
and they never even scold me
Put myself into the lawyer's position i might just throw the file and scold the 'me' why so stupid and create trouble
but she dint, she was being understanding and considerate
luckily she was not like me LOL
so if i become a lawyer
i must be more tolerate-able to newbies and fresh-grad students
because we are just human being
and when we done something wrong, we learnt from that
dying life in law firm
everyday doing the same thing repeatedly
but when i see all the lawyers walking around and very busy
asking the people to do work
i feel so envy and started to think whether i can become like that in the future or not
hahahahaXD imagine the life of everyday signing signing docs and dealing with clients
so excited LOL
so to be the me that i wished i could be
to be the me that i wanted to be
I must work very hard and must start develop very good attitude towards my job
teehee :)
Friday, May 20, 2011
